I've Been Waitin' My Haux Life...
...To take BACK my HAUX name!
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Greetings beautiful souls,
DZL MC here, pronounced DEEZLE M.C., and I’d like to quickly shout out HOW EXCITED I AM TO BE WRITING FOR THE HAUX HIVE!!
Who knew all my years of dippin & slippin’ would pay off like this?!
I wanted to begin on the topic of reclaiming the term “haux”, and the importance it serves to a lot of us.
I recently dated someone who was completely repelled ANYTIME I referred to myself as a “haux”. It didn’t matter how many times I explained it’s been RECLAIMED, they refused to accept me calling myself such a dirty word. Some things I found problematic about this control was: not only was I NOT free to be my complete self, but my decision of what I identified as was shut down and taken away. I learned easily to just stop ever mentioning it, but WHY?
Growing up sexually repressed is a laughable understatement. Culturally sex was EVERYWHERE, and I wasn’t allowed to be even the LEAST bit curious as to how this all worked. I could NOT wear glitter, paint my nails RED, OR wear anything remotely glossy on my lips. As a result, I grew up to be the most glittery sex kitten, paint my nails weekly (not always red), and hoard the fiercest lipstick collection.
I can recall Lil’ Kim being one of my first crushes, and greatest introduction to the pro-haux life. I was enamored not only by her trademark spread eagle, but also the luxurious essence she served through her sexually liberated style. As awkward as being a young person was, I secretly hoped one day I could at least FEEL as powerful as her.
My teenage years were a speed train of hormones and rebellion. I masturbated entirely too much, and I hopped relationships because I thrived off experiencing different people and their energies. I was never in a relationship for more than a few weeks - four months at MOST - even if I really liked the person. I loved making out, heavy petting, and talking to multiple people at once. There definitely HAD to be something wrong with me, right?
Cruising into my early adult years I tried the monogamous thing. It didn’t work to my favor. Monogamy only got me emotionally, mentally, and even physically abused.
HOW DRAINING!
HOW TRAUMATIZING!
After a tragic relationship with my ex girlfriend I decided I couldn’t do a monogamous relationship EVER AGAIN! Call me dramatic, but I meant what I said.
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A messy heartbreak, some needed healing, and a horrid sexual dry spell later, I dusted off my lens on the pro-haux perspective. After all that pain, I felt I deserved some pleasure! I third-wheeled a relationship, became the nucleus and initiator of many orgies, I slept with friends I was eyeing for years, and was finally gaining that power I once dreamed of.
Still, I was shamed.
Fortunately, I fell in love with someone who helped debunk that shame, and lift the stigma. Because we were both from extremely repressed upbringings, we worked hard to unravel the icky taboo of being a haux. Much of it was trial and error, honest communication about our desires, and educating ourselves with material (I’m sure most of you are familiar with The Ethical Slut, right?). After all, it was just in our nature, and now, it was time to make true sense of it in order to reclaim it.
THIS is the part where I give my UTMOST gratitude to my queer community: I LOVE YOU QUEERS!! Sure, I’ve witnessed PLENTY of non-consensual, hetero hauxing; nothing made as much sense to me as these stunning displays of sexual liberation. My fellow beauties taught me to see far past taboos, SQUASH slut shaming, and embrace the ability to love more than one person at a time. Whether it was just a hook-up or a emotionally romantic connection, it was more than OK, as long as consent was involved-something I’ll touch more on later.
Some people will still find this confusing, and that’s fine; at the end of the day, to each their own. As noted, we are here to RECLAIM the term HAUX! And as such, I am more than delighted to continue sharing how this pro-haux lifestyle works for me.
PEACE, LOVE & HAPPY HAUXING!
-DZL MC